


Steel wings of regret

by Anayt



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 11:00:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9545489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anayt/pseuds/Anayt
Summary: A letter from Anders to Hawke, delivered in the morning before the final confrontation with Meredith and Orsino.





	

My infinitely beloved Hawke!

Sullen rain strands veiled the world of light, as I write this letter. I see how they stuck to the bare branches of the trees, trembling in the freezing wind. Everything seemed to have turned gray from this endless rain, hope is dying. Everything seems so small and insignificant.

Twilight creeps, a killer lingers in the shade, it wrap around my miserable shelter, penetrate the skin and poison the heart.

Irresistible weight of grief falls down on the eyelids, I tried to open my eyes, but despair prevail on me. I become rigid and want to roll up in the bed, drawn up knees to my chest. If only you were here!

But you're not there, your tender, cold fingers will not rest on my flushed forehead, your arms do not hug me, not hide me from the darkness and grief.

Forgive me, love, I cannot go back! I no longer belong to myself. I must put an end to this protracted, useless struggle, and no one can ease my task. It's decided. There is no turning back.

I'm not afraid of death, I am not afraid of judgment.

I was afraid of losing you, my love! But I had to put fear aside to do what feels right. I have no choice. Someone has to come forward and openly oppose violence and injustice.

Those who have been with us on one side, either killed, or subdued, or frightened to death. Mage Underground no longer exists. Sir Thrask killed and his supporters arrested.

We have remained the only possibility ...

Because of that I have to leave you, my heart, I cannot let you know about my plan and subject to grave risk. I must do this myself. No one shall share with me the burden of guilt and remorse. I do not want you to suffer from terrible, but unavoidable solution!

I cannot afford to mages slaughtered like animals in a slaughterhouse! I cannot afford to have mages slaughtered like animals in a slaughterhouse! I cannot allow mages to turn into abominations, every day, one by one, because of the horror of Tranquility!

I cannot…

Silence like a deafening wave arises from the sea, reared up, threatening to smash my head on the rock of madness. I no longer hear Justice, it seems to have nothing to say. He wanted justice, and as a warrior refered to what has to be done for him, with the severity of the warrior and candor of the spirit.

But I'm tormented at the thought of the suffering of others, even if they partly guilty. I cannot stop thinking about what will happen afterwards. Because no chance for a peaceful resolution. Those who have no rights, can fight for them only by force.

In any case, now mages will have a chance of survival. And in the future, the world will see that mages - are people like any other. They will eventually learn to accept us as equals.

I don't cherish a hope that I will stay alive. Hope died when I closed the door of our home, my love. My heart dried out and cracked in a tightly clenched fist.

Believe me, I do not want to raise a sword on the unarmed! It's a choice I deeply regret. But I am ready to bear the consequences, because it is the only solution, there is no other way. 

The war began a long time ago, but it's not the mages who first took up their swords. If I have to arm myself to stand up for equality and freedom to decide our own fate - I will draw out my sword. 

I will love you until my last breath! Fly and be free, my Hawke!

Yours to the death,  
Anders.


End file.
